Top Ten Signs Delhi Will Have No Monsoon This Year
10. No company has Monsoon Dhamaka sales promotion this year. They are still called Garam Dhamaka.
9. MCD has put on hold sale of Moolchand Underpass Water Ride tickets – Breaking News: Ticket sales have just resumed
8. DMRC has finally given up the idea of dual use of their elevated tracks for cars during street waterlogging
7. All politicians have extended their European holidays and are holding the monsoon session of Parliament in London
6. Neighbors are perplexed to see rain on a sunny day only to find a weirdo on the roof with a water hose (its me showering the house) – Sorry this is a sign that your neighbor is strange
5. Out of business road laying contractors have signed up for NREGA in Gujarat
4. Coca Cola has already achieved Q2 sales targets in June
3. Peacocks instead of rehearsing for rain dance are still fanning themselves crazy with their plucked feathers
2. Navratan Oil (thanda thanda cool cool) has replaced hair gel as hair product of choice among teenagers
And the No. 1 Sign is
1. Instead of desilting of drains contracts, MCD is awarding detarring of drains contracts
Top Ten Signs You Could be Turning into a Dog
10. You start sniffing the waiter when he comes to take your order
9. Unilever to introduce a new Axe 'Naughty Nutty' fragrance (if you know what I mean!) based on your incessant pestering of their customer service
8. When nobody is looking you scratch your ears with your toes
7. You have chipped teeth because you insist people toss you things
6. Your mom chases after you when she sees you on the floor slurping the cereal bowl
5. You have escaped running over by vehicles several times because you wait to sprint across the road just when the approaching vehicle is a mere two metres away
4. Lately, strangers have been patting and stroking your head
3. You have been practising to wiggle your ears with some success
2. Neighbors have started calling you a weirdo for chasing cats up the tree
And the No. 1 Sign is
1. You have 'Beware of Dog' sign hanging on your gate but you have no dog
Nirdesh Singh