Top Ten Good Things about Multiplexes Closing Down
10. Your dog finally gets to watch all the movies he missed - on the DVD with you
9. You have got rid of your urge to puke every time you smell butter, an attribute you developed by inhaling the industrial strength odor of theatre popcorn
8. Unclog your body pores on a hot summer powerless weekend day in the free sauna that is your home
7. Now you can be the jerk talking loudly on the phone in front of your TV
6. You don't have to telebook your couch in advance
5. You are slowy learning not to take numbered seats in front of your TV
4. You can now locate your couch in your living room without anyone pointing it out with a flashlight
3. You can sign up for the 'Guaranteed Six Week Total Hair Regrowth Program' on ShoppingTV with all the cash you saved (I am going to consumer court since it is not working for me)
2. You are relieved someone stole your idea for bookmyshow.com
And the number one good thing about multiplexes closing down is
1. The ticket might be twenty bucks when multiplexes finally open (okay, I was wrong)
Top Ten Signs your Car Company is Going Bankrupt
10. The salesgirl at the appliances store asks you to trade in your car for this new Juicer & Mixer
9. You are surprised that your revised annual car insurance premium is Rs. 36 only
8. You forget to lock the car in the morning and it is still there when you come back in the evening
7. Your dog does not want his daily spin in the car
6. The service adviser at the workshop starts laughing hysterically when you bring in the car for servicing
5. Past two months your car showroom has sold only one car – to you
4. Two months ago you bought the car for four lacs and today they have a 'Special Wednesday Evening Sale' for Rs. 80000 with 5-year No Cost Ownership Warranty
3. The filling station attendant asks you 'Are you sure?' several times when you come for a fill up
2. You have been approached to donate your mint condition car to the auto museum
And the number one sign that your car company is going bankrupt is
1. The local college of business wants you over to help them with the case study on consumer buying behaviour – 'How car companies sucker people into buying lemons'
Nirdesh Singh
Drishtee